On Cognizance

It is a self-referential word isn't it? "Meta". The cognizance of one's cognizance is the foundation of Humility.

"The first stage of Humility is to force yourself." - Sh. Hamza Yusuf

Focus on the self & be mindful of others as far as it does no harm.

Mollify yourself, reproach your thoughts, scrutinize your failures, remember them, then forgive yourself & forge on.

Change afterall is an act not a concept.

On believing

I've constructed a dwelling in my mind where I can go when I need to separate myself from my heart. I've also cleared a path in the forest of my heart so I know there's always a way out when I get lost in my emotions.

But best of all, I have something that resides in both my heart & mind, it's like a cool lake where I can go to drink, swim or meditate; a belief:

That no matter what, Allah SWT is near.

People, the world, life what joys / heartache / conflicts / comfort that they bring, He who governs all, is always with the patient.

With reliance on He who provides all, one is thereof sufficient & free.

(HH)

Because Hafiz does not know that the binary sunset signify the ephemerality of his rebirth. A brief visiting not material enough to be called an 'existence', hence his inability to leave footsteps in the sand. Brief because the dreamscapes he is to traverse are but reflections of the 'real world' which in turn is also but a 'mirage'.

A lucid journey through the human subconscious aided but by the very thing that governs human behaviour - Emotions. Unadulterated by a 'worldly personality' (thus his amnesia in the sunset scene). In other words, pure.

In essence, if a man could be, even if just briefly, just a man, is his inherent nature not good? Flawed but good. 

The Awakening

Burgundy night Sky, starlessly hazy

Gazing heavenwards, I feel the edges of my reality 

Stretched thin, clawing, the far reaches

Of an ungraspable galaxy

This world is a design

a fabrication, magnificent & unfulfilling

One endlessly vapid lucid dream

Filled with longing

         For the eternal beyond.

On tawakkal & taqwa

In the face of adversity, when one despairs, it is a sign of reliance on the self. A reminder, that our reliance should be (as it truly is), only on God.

In the face of difficulties, when one complains, it is a sign of ingratitude. A reminder, that our compliance in our servitude is our gratitude.

A true believer is one who practices patience. And patience, is a lesson that needs to be relearned every day (I read this somewhere but I can't for the life of me remember the source - I've a feeling it's some Jedi thing from Star Wars haha).

I must remember, no, practice this more often.

Khatam

Today I khatam Qur'an for the 2nd time in my life. Yes, only the 2nd. Still, It marks a progress in my desire to become a better muslimah. Inshallah.

:)

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Hanyut dalam kelam

Dipinggir paya silam

Merakit-rakit ke tebing

Hati ditangan kujinjing

Siulan angin memberani

Ciuman bulan mengiringi

Dalam pelukan malam

Kuredah hutan hitam.

               

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Hutan belantara ini kujejaki

sekali lagi

demi mencari kelibat masa lampau

suatu ketika, suatu masa

dimana kesepian mula menjalar

             — Akarnya ingin kubakar