Saturday, May 30, 2015


Sometimes you just need someone to show you how to be happy. How to be simple, how to be grateful, how to be kind both to your self and others.

And when these beautiful souls collide with mine, I am in awe. I'm a person of grand gestures, I will celebrate people I love with all that I have to give. Their happiness is mine. They bleed, I bleed.

If there is occasion for strength, I will be that strength. I will fail but I will try. For the love of God, for His Mercy, I want to always be reminded of people's kindness towards me, what blessings they are. All from Him.

Friday, May 29, 2015

The long road

How do you convince a person you care for them? By showing up, by being there, by keeping it together when all you want to do is break down with them. A wise friend once told me, the supporters in this world need support too.

God knows the tears that goes unshed for the sake of Love. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The wind speaks no more

That I no longer scribble my longings & speak to the wind, I fear I truly am desolate. 

I am mired down. This quiet swamp, nothing that breathes visits me. Perhaps it's ungrateful to say that I now prefer the xeric solitude of being away from home.

When the self is uprooted from its birthplace, one is a wanderer. A seeker of connection in unfamiliar lands. A survivor who strives. An independent wayfarer who holds Love in his heart instead of his hands.

Studying overseas have instilled in me a duality in what I define as 'home'. Such a strange concept that evolved through out the 4 years I spent in Australia.

It's true. The heart longs for longing. A conundrum.

Friday, May 22, 2015

With the water

Wudu', Ablutions. The act of running water over your face, forearms, forehead and feet in the correct order and number of times. A symbolic act of purifying the self before one turns one's face towards His Mercy.

And then prayer itself. Likened in the Qur'an to the act of crossing a river. Having crossed a river 5 times in a day, will your clothes not be clean? Similarly, the heart, the Soul.

Deliberate and slow, let the water heal.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Now at 3 in the morning, I think of the two letters I've started writing and left unfinished. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015


Checking in. Leaving for Venice tomorrow.

I'll not speak of the sights. That belongs at a later time, when I am calm and unhurried.

Instead I'll just unburden my mind a little and say, I find it odd how people react to another hiding their grief. As if heralding one's feelings of anguish signifies the depth of caring. For me personally, the more significant the wound, the stronger the desire to hide it. 

Why should I, let the uncaring masses witness my profound loss? Such a sullying of my breavement.

This is an odd tangent isn't it. This is why: I was at the Tulip gardens and I thought of the Qur'an, how it describes Jannah as gardens with rivers flowing beneath it and hence among the bright flowers, I remembered Death.