Sunday, October 26, 2014


The desire to be removed from the self, to be thought as someone, not different, separate. The same, but separate. To exist away from notions of who I am. In simple terms, to be unconventional. Perhaps it is just another way of saying that one is desirous of freedom. To become (for just a moment), somebody allowed of exterior things. Exterior as in 'outside' the normal scope of interests one usually am.

What a curiosity. Just a little wild rant. I have studying to do. And that sure puts me in a mood to be 'creative' (read: 'to procrastinate').

Thursday, October 23, 2014


I am 23 today.

Ramparts of you II

I weep now,
your spell lay broken
lapping at my feet
stinging like the salt of the ocean

A wall, 
you were the wall, my wall
You loomed vast and unscaleable;
        my audience, 
        my subject, 
        my friend.

I laid a hand on your cheek,
At a touch, 
         you crumbled;
         Love is your undoing
         Love that isn't mine
         Love ungraspable by me.

So I stood upon this ruin,
The ramparts I built
My shelter from you, now a skeleton
A relic of old; 

The irony of this poem is not lost on me. Instead, I am slightly relieved by it.
Part I

we stand in quietude

We stand in a field of black grass
Beneath a sky as if lit on fire
The cosmos engulfs all
Your throat is ablaze
With unspokens
Constellations in disarray
Each star a supernova
Each demise paramount
Yet the world is unfazed
Amidst this ruin
We stand in quietude
6th October 2014. 
Apparently some people do read my poems. This is for you (as always) and for these strangers.

Monday, October 13, 2014


The weather has taken a fine turn here in Melbourne. The sky is blue, the clouds are white. I mean, what else do I say? I describe the weather too often here. It's the only thing I actually like to write about. 

Things come & go, feelings & perceptions too. I think emotions and point of views are sorted into chapters, like in a book. Sometimes I think I sense the culmination of an emotion just the same as the ending of a chapter in a book. I ruminate on what I felt, what has happened, what triggered it, why etc.

A reflective mood is all it puts me into. At least the weather is beautiful. When all else fail and the weather is good, I can deal with this world better. I shall stop pondering my dreams once and for all. It doesn't do to overthink illusions that come in your sleep. They are not real. Being the way I am; one who remembers a lot of their dreams, its disorienting. Enough of that.

The weather is good. The wind howls. The sun shines. The usual.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Puisi Buat Gerhana

Purnama, kau palingkan wajah 
Meredup dibalik bayangan
Merajuk dipeluk kayangan

Merah mendakapi mentari
Kasih semesta mengucupi

Seribu jiwa, seribu mimpi
Menjadi saksi.
                                                                  (Melbourne, 8 Oktober 2014).

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Last Spring

Launceston - Hobart, Tasmania (Australia), 30 September - 4 October 2014, Spring.
I ought to jot a few things down regarding my spring break but first, Melbourne: After Hobart and Launceston in Tasmania, Melbourne seems almost lifeless. But that is an unfair juxtaposition. Cities and rural towns are too different. Here in Melbourne, it has been a series of overcast days and drizzly rain interspersed with golden sunrays that threatens to blind you with its brilliance. Hence the Sky is in turns a flat, oppressive slate of gray or blue as can be smeared with white clouds. 

As with all Spring breaks, once it ends, the high followed by the dip, puts me into a somber mood. I do not like overcast days (this I have mentioned too many times here), they lull me into immobility.

So onward with happy memories, what Spring break has been: 
- An expedition of new landscapes. Mountains, endless green pastures, waterfalls, lakes, seasides of jagged rocks (rather than sandy beaches), an abundance of blooming flowers, and the countless ever-changing face of the Sky.

- Of imprinting memories with people I have lived with (lived with - I feel the need to stress these words. Much is contained in them.) for the past four years. Of memorizing their temperament & nature, their smiles, words, dreams & fears. Every tiny detail of what they are in themselves and what they have taught me.

- Of savouring Time. I am all too aware of my being on the precipice of change. I have been in the nascence of adulthood but I am approaching a different phase of living. Life after education. So, I savoured Time.

That is enough here I think. Now this, is something B. shared with me during our road-trip that I treasure:

"Rasulullah (pbuh), whenever he travels on his camel, he will smile at the Sky. To show his gratitude."