Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Le Morte d'Arthur

       So, I've been going through a few books about King Arthur & his knights of the round table, specifically to investigate how Arthur's death really went down (Yes I have a couple of books on the Arthurian legend, which I inherited from my brother. He likes em'). 

From what I've read, coupled with the things I read on the internet, there are two traditions of Arthur's disappearace, the "not dead, not really" and the "dead, definitely". 

Both begins with the last battle against the Saxons, where Arthur slays the traitor knight, Sir Mordred, and had Excalibur thrown into The Lake which surrounds the Isle of Avalon then:

1.Was put into a barge, released into The Lake and disappears into the Vale of Avalon, where he intends to be healed and will return if and when he's needed.

He said this to Sir Bedrivere*:
"Comfort yourself," answered King Arthur, "and do as best as you may. For you remain to bear word of me to those who are yet alive. For I must go into the Vale of Avalon there to be healed of my grevious wound. But be you sure that I will come again when the land of Britain has need of me, and the realm of Logres shall rise once more out of the darkness. But if you hear never more of me, pray for my soul.'   

I got this particular excerpt from Roger Lancelyn Green's version. Some versions also mentions Arthur waiting in a cave on the Isle of Avalon.

2. Arthur dies in battle. End of story. Read on the internet that this version of Arthur's death came about later than the versions of him not dying. 

3. There's also another version that says Arthur turns into a raven or this other black bird, the Cornish Chough. Read on the internet that in Wales and the West Country (south west region of England), Ravens are viewed as a royal bird. 

*sigh* so, he pretty much disappears at the end. I like that the Merlin BBC tv show is a modern retelling of the Arthurian legend. A young Merlin, his dynamics with a coming of age Arthur made the stories more relatable to my generation. 

       Ah, ignore me. I'm just really really sad that Arthur died and wants a happy ending for the show. It's just so tragic. Romeo & Juliet tragic, the way I see it. I hate-love sad endings. I just suffered through BBC Sherlock's fake suicide & House MD's version of the fake suicide (the show's homage to its Sherlock Holmes roots, you know, Doyle's The Reichenbach Falls - in which Doyle kills off Holmes along with his nemesis Moriarty but later resurrects Holmes due to public demand) not that it matters much because Wilson got cancer and was dying anyway though they have the courtesy to give the fans a semi-happy ending compromise by showing House and Wilson riding off into the sunset on motorbikes, Wilson's bucket list, road trip. Yeah, I've a terrible soft spot for bromances. Friendship is better than romance. I am now teetering on the edge of this turning into a tumblr post...

You know what, this post totally belongs on tumblr, not here but thing is, tumblr is a minefield at the moment. Gifs of the last episode all over the place. So here I am, posting this here.

I'm a fangirl in mourning is what I am. I have a metaphorical shard of metal from a metaphorical sword forged with dragon's breath in my chest. Direct Merlin reference for you right there. I think I need to pen a poem, to weep into words and hope it will ease my sorrowful heart. 
*Sir Bedivere - more about him here. Wiki page lol. He's pretty interesting himself.

Monday, January 21, 2013

My mien

Sometimes I ponder you
   the stillness around you
                                your weightless bearing
                                your unfeeling mystique.

I am the balustrade
   of your dark stairways
        the parapets
   of your crumbling walls
         the turrets
    of your black fortress.

Sometimes I ponder you
    the ardour I offer you
                               my fallowed heart
                               my marooned fortune.

I am a soul marked
by yours
I am an edifice
          of your likeness.


*weeps* Yes, I am one of those people who weep over deaths of fictional characters. I thrive and suffer with them, which is why I love reading in the first place. I'm talking about the silly tv show Merlin here though. It's the same thing really. Fandoms are just my thing.

But I'll confess here: Nothing tugs my heartstrings like the portrayal of unyielding loyalty.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

'what fascinates A may bore the pants off B'

I'm a nobody playing at being a novelist. *sigh*  I gotta finish this darned ch.1 (yea, 'progress') and have somebody take a look at it. Thing is, nobody I know actually appreciate the fantasy genre. Well, there's 2 but...not really. 

As for that divine love vs. mortal love traversing dreamscapes with loadsa nature metaphors...thing I tried to write. It's on hiatus. As usual. That one's a serious one, don't think I've lived enough to actually do it justice. How does one who has not love (that kind of love, you know) write of love? Sure I can romanticize shit all I want but I don't think it'd be the same as someone who's really in love. Take Rilke say,

look how perfect that is...comparing Lou to a fountain, his desire to see the world through Lou, and only Lou. Sure, I don't believe in being quite so desperate, it's too indulgent and y'know it's a kind of idolatory that does not befit one who is grounded.

Again, what do I know anyway.

p.s. Photos from Rainer Maria Rilke & Lou Andreas Salome: The Correspondences, thanks mai for sharing.  

Saturday, January 5, 2013

For Javert

     Loyalty his uniform,
he wears the law on his sleeves
and sings of Justice.
    Just as his heart opened,
by the stars, abandoned
he dove into oblivion
    – A righteous heart, fallen.