Kata-kata yang kusenyawakan
bersama deruan biru angin
kata-kata yang kusimpulkan
bersama hijaun pucuk jiwaku
kata-kata yang kau terangi;
perang, kau cetuskan pada aku.
Words I imbue
with the blue of the howling winds
words I knot
with the greens of my soul
words you light up;
into war, plundered me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Monday, August 22, 2016
If there is anything one could do when at wits's end, is to make dua.
Make dua for help to come your way, and if none came, make dua for the strength to endure.
And if even then you fail to muster the strength to endure whatever it is that you are faced with, make dua for His forgiveness.
Don't abandon yourself.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
At least it's always sunny here. No winters to endure, except the one within.
Sometimes I consciously feel the sun on my skin, like when I'm walking from the parking lot at work, or when I open my mail out in the front porch; the heat of the rays always a reminder of Life. Sometimes I feel bitter about how unhappy I have become, sometimes I just feel a longing to have the time to enjoy the days as I wished and either way it culminates into discontent.
I feel far removed from joy. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to fix myself to be honest.
Lord, help me. I'm much too inured to being morose.
Friday, August 19, 2016
Acres upon acres of soil, gently rolling, like a swell of land beside a cliff. This land, barren at first sight, so brown against the backdrop of fog and clouds where the cliff drops into a deep ravine. No shred of sky is visible, not in this somber weather, yet the scent of mountains hidden by the weather; earthy and cold —permeates the air. Razed after a fire, this abandoned land of ash and loam, now tilled and ready for growth, awaits the crops it would house and nourish.
A painting in words, the landscape of my soul.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
I'm not a person of half measures. Am one for grand gestures, one of those who (if I had the money to spare) would write 'I love yous' in the sky, fucking fireworks on birthdays, roses on coffee dates, or buy you a $130 scarf on a random Monday sort.
I will 'go to town' so to speak. Or at least I'd like to think I would.
It's a character flaw, to indulge one's self into feeling too intensely. An exaggeration of sentiments that merely puts you on a vulnerable ledge on an emotional skyscraper. You get high, sure but then what?
On a side note, I'm now calm. I think.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Monday, August 1, 2016
dikaki langit yang terbentang membiru
digarisan ufuk lapangan perasaan
hati ini seolah lerengan bukit
yang pohonan hijaunya dinyalakan api liar
dedaun pucuknya dijilat kering
menjadi abu dan bara
berlegar lembut keruangan udara
yang merah dan panas
menunduk kelabu, melambai lesu
jiwa ini menggunung;
harapan, hitungan, impian