I just want to fade away

Razbliuto

Do not read too much into my words
not all of them are for you
sometimes only a shadow of your shadow
but I confess, I have exploited you often enough
just remember, not always
not anymore.

There was a time when a spectre of you
lived in my mind, haunting me
but all that is in the past
I am past those confused times
I haven't forgotten them but I have lived
without them.

Intermittently, I am visited by your wraith
for I have never been able to slaughter it
I have not the heart
I am weak and it is no secret
A connoisseur of sentiments
you were my nonpareil.

All my verses if they rob you of your peace
as they have robbed me of mine, I apologize
The subconscious is beyond my control
but I slay all ideas of you in me that are conscious
I am aware of the present irony
but this is where I part with you.

Charlatan

I crucify you in these lines
I am a charlatan as much as you are one
My heroism is a farce
I am empty
I open my mouth and all that comes out
is the wind blowing through me
                               — A ghoul
who apparates every now and then
looking for somebody to
make aperçus of my soul
Nothing more

You are my intermediate
        I dwell in your resonances

Enough of this. 

Speaking in circles

In my mind
I have brewed your words

for years

They have come undone

from you

These apparitions now

are mine

I am a bystander

Of your bystander heart
My words do not fade
they wait

Of eternity I remain

desirous

Nondescript

Though I may appear to be so
     what visions I harbour of you, are not.
     Make no mistake of this.

My professions to your ineffability
     are all very dear to me
     and believe me to be
                     — very sincerely yours.

Do I dare?

Do I dare come forth
and profess it all in a single breath
this secret yearning to be your Icarus?
Do I dare disturb
this armistice and risk it all
for the sake of my unrequited auspice?
Do I dare?
Will my illusion not shatter
and you disgusted with me
disapparate as you often do?

Between us
 is an unscale-able wall, gargantuan.
                — An absolute effrontery.
And this is why you're my poetry.

Singularly insane

Sentience, is a singularity
like an Agave it greets death
with a spectacle as if to say
          — This world is not for me.

Am I not a singular?
Am I not a person?
I pass myself as one, but
             — I do not belong.

Darling, sanity
Sweet sweet, sanity
Pick your stones, arrest your hopes in them
             — I will not by by you.

tired