Matryoshka

I sought to breach the echelons of loneliness
hoping to emerge wisened if not enlightened.
All I ever achieved though is solitude
which I vaunt of its bleakness –– 
                     my broken heart in multitudes.

The wound in my mind is a haloed hole.
Like ravaged old Russia and her banished kulaks
I am vast, barren, blood-stained & cold.
Alas I have no paladins to champion me –– 
                             my ambitions are mere larks.

I have given up trying to be worldly
This putsch against the seeds of my soul
I have halted for it has lost its fealty.
My love for my vozhd' futile –– 
                             my hopes dying in a howl.

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Note: 
Titled 'Matroyshka' because: The "matryoshka principle" is also an example of Mise-en-abyme.

                                                                                      (Source: from wiki page on Matroyshka dolls )

[exceprt from Mise-en-abyme.]

Mise en abyme (French pronunciation: [miz‿ɑ̃n‿abim]; also mise en abîme) is a term originally from the French and means "placed into abyss".

The commonplace usage of this phrase is describing the visual experience of standing between two mirrors, seeing an infinite reproduction of one's image, but it has several other meanings in the realm of the creative arts and literary theory.

I'm not sure why I wish to elaborate on this. Not that it matters but what does matter is that you were my personal 'Russian Revolution'. My 'Red October' which occured in the month of June of which I was not aware of until much later. All this purging is all that inspires me these days or if I care to be brutally honest with myself, all this purging is precisely all that inspires me period.