To just write straight. Not entrenched in false emotions brought on by external influences, I want to ink myself into paper and just lay there until the time comes I feel like feeling again.
I blame that new On the Road film I saw yesterday. Darned film. Damned Kerouac. Dastard Cassady. Oh, folly.
The film reminded me that although I strain myself to be in harmony with everybody, I am sad inside. I am sad but it is alright. It is not an empty sadness. It is the kind borne out of a keen awareness of the state of being. I believe it is a good thing to be reminded of sadness even when feeling joy because c'est la vie. One's presence ought not be the source of consternation to others. What is acted out and uttered affects people. I am not one to be ruled by my emotions (not in public), I try to always strive to respond in kind. What is a person if not good character.
A friend confided to me about her suddenly very ill brother, the expectations imposed upon her as a medic student studying in Australia, the exams she is currently sitting etc. When a person pours their soul to you, you listen, you emphatize and no matter how hard, you find the words that you hope would ease their burden even if just a little.