Snapshot of a page from Love - National Geographic 2008 @ Big Bad Wolf 2012
I am so very tired. Have been venturing out into the world daily since Thursday but here I am. I think it's important to write while soaked with fatigue. It unearthes something deep inside of you.
The letter L. yet again. How should I proceed with this? This has nothing to do with the world at large, nor the people that reside in it. Although, I still believe that something internalized is always birthed from an external influence be it conscious or subconscious. The letter L.The word Love. It's shades of meanings, it's connotations, it's significance, it's exclusive experience. What else?
I love goodness in people. It brings out the goodness in me. I want to be surrounded with eternal goodness. Such clarity. I never feel more alive then when I feel like I've made someone happy or when I see the people I love happy. Ah, but we've been over this many times. I'm no saint. I am simply, romanticizing the self-sustaining nature of altruism. It is an impenetrable circle, the circle of paying a good deed forward. It goes on & on for ever. A circuit of purity.
At this point, I do not care to make myself clear anymore. The soul can only be complete when it is reunited with its creator. That nameless perfection of the self you can sort of grasp through wordless music. Like some shit from Sigur Ros or a piece by Chopin say. That feeling when you are collected and perfectly at ease with your existence.
Is it possible to burn and yearn and be perfectly at peace with the suffering it conjures? I think it is the pinnacle of faith. All beauty in this world is a benevolence of The One. Out of the 99 parts of Mercy, only 1 is bestowed in this world as we know it. What of the other 99? One can't even begin to hope to imagine.
Paradise, heaven, jannah, is more than rivers of honey & wine, flower gardens and beautiful lovers. It is the feeling of completion that is ungraspable in this world. It is all that passionate fire and mute calmness molded into one. A Oneness that is not in this lifetime. Eternity.
Eternity my flying soul across the dark Sky who pines as it falls and burns and cries for a sentient peace.