Cognizance

I'm beginning to learn to acknowledge, to respect the fact that the distance between the stars above and I, an earth-bound soul, is very real.

This distance is a boundary. This separation is both definite and infinite. 

On one hand I want to be unrelenting in my devotion and on the other... I also want it to fade into oblivion. Why does it feel like defeat? Why does this cognizance feels like surrender?

As if I am a warrior bloody and torn. Armour that used to protect now weighs me down, cutting into flesh and soul. The enemy is but smoke in the distance, wraiths of burnt up flags blowing lazily in the wind. 

There is no enemy, this is not a battlefield. My nemesis is not without, but within. A creation of my own, nothing but smoke and mirrors.

Why must the heart deceive us so?