I've got a cold for a week now. It's dampening my mood but it'll clear up soon hopefully.
Normalities aside, I actually feel rather concussed. It just seems to me that I've left too many goals hanging. I say I try to be good and all that but really, do I really?
*sigh* I read As-Saff's translation just now. Because the imam also mentioned some wonderful things about the strength of women, mothers in Islam, about Musa AS's mother and step mother specifically, he stresses on surahs al-qasas, as-saff and another Surah I can't remember. All so he could illustrate the point that Allah SWT does things He does not need to but He is afterall The Most Gracious and the Best of Planners.
So, as-saff, it says God dislikes people who 'say they do things they didn't do'. Fasik.
I fear for myself. Constantly. The need to be able to remain khusyuk in my prayers is ever growing because I keep catching myself failing.
I feel displaced. The killing of time is smudging the edges of my reality.