Thursday, June 18, 2015

Into Ramadhan (Night 1)

Tarawikh prayers began tonight. Went to the mosque with my parents, it is strange... I thought of the Ramadhans spent in Melbourne, how different they were vs. here at home.

It is hard to let go. It has been 6 months and I am much settled in. That misplaced rage I experienced in the first few months has been (largely) doused.

And so it begins, the nightly Tarawikh prayers. I did only 8 rakaahs, I'm disappointed in myself to be honest. It is not like I work during the day, I ought to be able to perform more rakaahs. I will try harder tomorrow.

I look for something to shake my soul, scorch it clean. The pure, white heat of abstaining from desires, increment of ibadah. The word 'Ramadhan' is after all 'scorching heat' or 'dryness'. I have notes on this, I can't remember where I put them.

At any rate, tomorrow we fast.

Ya Rabb, move me towards you.

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