Tuesday, June 10, 2014


I feel singed at the edges. Like I've been burned by something white-hot and now am quite puzzled in the experience of unexpected pain. Well, it isn't a physical ailment per se. It's like being stretched thin, as if my endurance of simply being is taxed to the very last of its reserves.

It's what I always feel in those moments when I think I've talked too much. I become hyper aware of the amount of conversation I do. Usually quite suddenly.

But then again, it is only a very natural human experience isn't it? To feel acute loneliness in the presence of others. Sometimes, in mid conversation even. It is not as if I yearn to be understood by another. It's more of a long-drawn ache of being so separately individual.

A noble sort of suffering anyway. Quiet. Fret not, I am contented. Happy even. I simply recognise what is in my disposition; that is, to be simultaneously aversed & attracted to emotional intimacy.

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