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No words except prayers to extinguish the anguish of contradictions. These futile words. Tumultuous heart, why do you only ponder the soul after guilt has sunk it's claws into you? 

It is tiring to exist in cyclical anguish. White, smooth & silken; depiction of goodness. The end-result of ideal character does not entail the iron will needed to attain it. 

To act towards goodness is the single most variable thing there is. It can be easy & effortless for one and near impossible to another. It pertains to the degree of one's commitment.

To commit the soul to what & whom. Vacillation is the trial. To brave through vacillation until the ideal characteristic is fully attained is a courageous act. Because really, how much willpower does it take to manifest an invisible, elusive foe so that one could strike it down once and for all? Especially if said foe has a penchant for resurrection.

Like iron forged in fire, the strength of will is a weapon strengthened by burnings & beatings. With this weapon fashioned in fiery intention, one must battle one's self.