Tuesday, April 2, 2013


At what point exactly do passions turn into obsessions that consumes more of you than should be allowed, in such a way that you unintentionally (or very much intentionally) sacrifice what is important for what only seemed to be important?

There's a fine line between being enthusiastic about something and being a complete fanatic. There are after all many kinds of idolatry that people aren't particularly aware of. Need to be very careful with this.

This concerns me. I'm the average fangirl who invests herself into fandoms. Plural, yes. I don't think I'm into all of them all at once, one at a time. I've phases. Typical anti-social behaviour perhaps.

The thing about all these nonsense is, they reek of dunia. Part of the nafs I suppose. My particular weakness. Mind you, I feel it important that I'm especially hard on myself because I need to give myself reality checks every now and then. So I keep toeing the line so to speak.

I can't be like them pure, focused, kakak naqibahs that seem to only take pleasure in doing good. They seem to be wholly undistracted by shite things (like I am). They always say that it's not an easy journey, to give up on these duniawi things. Ibadah being the purifying practice that governs their daily lives.

I haven't the strength of character to suddenly give up my fandom things (...I'm just not on that level yet. Pray that I will someday), I just need to remind myself, constantly, to not get too distracted.

To desire what God desire for us. To live life seeking the pleasure of The One. To taste the sweetness of iman, all the time. The straight path that I always need to remind myself of (Why usrah is instrumental as part of one's tarbiyyah btw).

With that, I greet April. Hello, hello.

p.s. I haven't penned a poem in such a while now. I don't have any feelings about it either. Just an observation.


  1. hmph me too, not on that level yet. but inshaAllah will. my sis (who just got the hidayah) deleted all the songs in her playlist, less watch tv now, and idk less/not at all read novels.

    i was speechless. i mean, how did she do that? (my iman tak kuat lagi kot T.T)

    but as long as you still realize whats right and wrong (thus, repent) is okay i guess? or is it not?

  2. woah she did? That's something alright. Not easy at all. Pretty inspiring! :D

    I'd like to be able to strike a balance but I suppose that might also be just me being in denial, an illusion. Idk.

    We progress at our own rates I guess. Hopefully.